Beyond the kok

Alrighty, I'm going to keep on with a chronological log of what I've been up to, even though this post will be atleast a week out of date at the time of writing. Reason being, I thoughtfully left the digital camera I bought specifically for my travels back in New Zealand, and I am stuck using disposables until said camera arrives in England (thanks mum!). And I can't very well talk about where I am now without photographic evidence.

So I said goodbye to Bangkok without too much of a hitch. There was the middle-aged lady at the TAT (travel office) who seemed to have a thing for me though. She told me I had very beautiful eyes and proceeded to ask me the size of my manhood. I declined ofcourse as any gentleman would, however a subtle gesture was made towards the ruler on her desk and giggles and gasps echoed around the office. But that wasn't so much a hitch, as a harmless flirtation with an older woman..

I decided to flag the train journey to Phuket in favour of a domestic flight on Bangkok Airways. Stepping onto the pristine airplane was like setting foot on a luxury spacecruiser. I found my seat and was surprised to see clouds of cool moisture-laden air billowing from ducts in the walls, and then up, around and over the stowage containers pouring like a waterfall into the isles from above. Everything was timed perfectly, from the screens lowering for the inflight entertainment to the inflight meal, which was surprisingly edible if not tasty.

There was a bit of confusion when it came to my transfer from Phuket however, as the language barrier really started to come into force. I initially read all the signs and couldn't see my name, so sat down and considered grabbing a standard taxi. Took a second look at the signs, and saw someone called "C. Balon" going to "Paradise Karon". Despite the fact I am "C. Barlow" heading to "Baan Karonburi" I figured I might as well give it a shot. The driver gestured for me to come with him, so I lugged my backback on my back and followed. He was quickly out of sight range as I tried my best to keep up, and was halfway across the airport carpark before I saw him driving back towards the terminal to pick me up. Anyway by the time I got back to the car I was knackered but he was nice enough and took me to my hotel, which was next door to the one on his sign.

So I've learnt that it is important to stay alert in Thailand. This much I have gathered from riding a scooter (they call them all motorbikes here) around Phuket. My second ever time on a powered 2-wheeler, which I was nervous enough about before I learned I had to hand over my passport to obtain one. Riding from Karon beach to Patong was fine, but once I hit the traffic in Patong it was a bit scary. Got caught at an intersection with people tooting at me, and hit the gas too hard and fell off right outside a shop. Thankfully the bike and myself came off only with a couple of grazes each. When I took the bike back the next day they were really good about it, and got the damage appraised at a very reasonable 1700 baht (~NZ$50). They even gave me my passport back!

The next day was spent at the Phuket Zoo which was definately an experience. This was a zoo unlike any I've seen because they train the animals and put on shows with them. Now I have mixed feelings about this because I am sure there is a fair degree of exploitation going on here, but I enjoyed the shows all the same and I hate myself for it. C'est la vie.

The crocodile show was first, which involved the trainers dragging the crocs around by their tails and hitting them with sticks. The highlight was the over the top commentary, "Wow! I'm speaking intelligible english gathered from american TV shows in a really cheesy accent! And making sound effects with only my mouth!", and when the trainer put his head inside the crocs mouth.

Can I just say at this point that it is very difficult to write properly at the moment, since my thai friend is with me and he's lazy and doesn't want to leave me alone. He's sitting here falling asleep while trying to read my english book and proding me from time to time. I tried offering him 100 baht right now to take a walk but he won't budge. So I appologise if this is coming across as boring or rushed, I just can't get into mah flow!

Anyway, next at the zoo was the elephant show, which was probably the best of the three. The elephants came out and performed a number of tasks. It was funny when the music came on and they all danced, swinging their trunks around and grooving and stepping and jiving. And when they kicked balls into the soccer net. And when they stepped over the audience voluntares and pretended the hump them. But again I guess it's pretty sad that we're making these poor animals act like humans for our own amusement. I guess the same could be said for the orangutan riding a bicycle and shooting hoops, but I still couldn't help letting out a chuckle.

The rest of my time in Phuket was fairly uneventful, however I did see many new things during my stay here. There are strips of tiny bars crammed with thai women baiting eager falung with tiny skirts and devilishly innocent smiles. There are traffic lights that actually have big numbers beside the lights that count down when the light is ready to go green. There are markets with everything from Hello Kitty to dead puppies. And by god are there some weird smells.

Altogether though I've really enjoyed Phuket and of everywhere I've been so far since, I think I could live here most comfortably. Next time I will talk about the islands a bit and who knows what else. Not sure what I'm going to do once I leave here today, I seem to eaten into my budget fairly heavily on things like tailored suits and travel. Might read a book or something. Kick back and take it easy, you know what they say - when in Rome and all that.

Until next time.

C.